Why ada orang tua yang kurang ajar?

 My biological father is not the kind of people that I look up to. Sometimes when I encounter ads or stories that one is proud of their father, one is loved by their father, one is looking up at their father, I feel empty.

I've been searching for the answer to kenapa ada ramai orang tua biadap, kurang ajar, when they're supposed to be role models, supposed to be respected la apela, but really, why should I respect orang tua yang kurang ajar?

There are many instances that I still remember to this date orang tua yang kurang ajar to me out of no where. I have vengeance toward them? Yes. Do I forgive them? No. Am I able to forgive them? Don't see why should I.

Because they're old people. Takkan dah tua pun bodoh? 

Some instances...

1. Old man driving car like an asshole. When honked, because how else right to teach these assholes, will look back at me like I'm wrong. WTH.

2. One mak cik scolded me in surau, yes SURAU, for me putting my laptop back on a chair that isn't being used. There were not many people in the surau anyways, like 4-5 people only and they are capable of standing. I was pregnant. Yes PREGNANT that heavy abdominal area situation. And this mak cik came to me, started to babble and pointed her finger to my face, just because I put my heavy bag on the chair, which I can't really bongkok to put the bag down on the floor, what more to pick it up later. Several people saw that, none defended. I was left mute, not even care to ask for the reason why I did it. WTH, you just met God and afterwards scolded me? Was that Islam? 

3. This old lady from a local wealth management company whom easily scolded "Saya ni bukan operator." Excuse me, even if I dialed the wrong number, can't you say it politely? What is wrong with you....you're a mak cik and doesn't even know what adab is?

I really wish I can find the answer to this....Why orang tua kurang ajar? And why do I still need to respect them? Why Islam still ask me to respect them? Shouldn't we teach them lesson? Or is God helping to teach the lesson? But I want to know, what's God doing on them. 

Nothing is more hideous in this world than orang tua yang buruk sikap and kurang ajar. 

Great Admin it is!

It's time of the year for annual performance review and I am excited because I have been in this job for over 6 months, and things so far look okay. OK JELAHHH.

In the beginning I am totally reluctant to ask this one person for feedback. I mean, why should I. Until a discussion with my counselor (the person in charge for my overall well-being, in short, who will affect boss's opinion on me to a large extent), who asked me to just get the person's view. Penatlah menaip person person, let's name them - GH and PK. GH is the counselor and PK is the person-whom-I-don't-want-to-get-review-from. 

It's not that I am not in good term with PK, it's just well, PK is ad hoc. Hmm not really ad hoc but kinda.

So the system in this office is surprisingly transparent. Meaning to say whatever people talked about you, or typed actually, can be read. Haha.

So upon PK responded to my request, okla kan dia respond jugak, with my never-insof curiosity, I opened PK's review to read. I know I was mean to PK before, on certain days and on certain things, not mean la, like *firm*.

Office politics is that they(me) gotta be nice to some people for future's sake, and I believe PK is like that. 

Tengok-tengok ditulisnya "expert in administrative 'stuff'" kome...

Hmmm...maybe I am too sensitive. I am reading multiple lines under from that one sentence. Maybe I should just read it at surface value.

At least, it's a praise...right? Mmmkay!

After 3 years !

Hello blog,

After 3 years now I'm back.

Wow peliknya baca blog sendiri, macam time capsule. This time around, malas nak italicize all those English words, German words whatsoever word not in Malay. Malaslah. Betapa skemanya aku dulu haha.

Now I'm nearing 30 walaweyyy surreal gila typing this blog now.

All that I wished before, and worked for, not wish only ya, almost all came true by God's grace.

I have:

1. A house, my own house. Ok on loan la I mean c'mon I'm not crazy rich, not even rich, but close.

2. A car. On load jugak, both these are currently on moratorium. Which reminds me, I need to check their statuses.

3. A husband. Opposite of my biological father and I am grateful for that.

4. A child. Accidental but now she's 3 so oklah. Didn't know I can raise a human that long, pokok pun tak sampai setahun dah layu mati.

5. A career. Not what I dreamed of, but something that keeps me going (and down), something that can give that jolt of adrenaline and stress. Most importantly, that I am very grateful of too, an international company.

6. A dream, or dreams, but I accumulate them together so it's a dream, not dreams - umrah, Haji, a second house, to drop everything one day and start something on my own.

Ok that's all as a 3-year quick summary of me. 

Going to be active back on writing here.

I was thinking of changing the layout to something cleaner, white wash ke kan...but upon seeing the picture I took years back with my sister's back that she didn't want to own anymore, I rest my case, bio jela.